Schlubbin'

I am lazy.  I am lazy and I stink, and I feel like a zombie.  Come to think of it, I smell kinda like the undead.  This is me, right now:

 Captain Disgusto!  Do you like my home decor?  I call it Old Gift Wrap Chic.  My mother has the best taste in gift wrappings, so for the past year I've kept every bit.  I have it in my head that I am going to découpage something with it, but...yeah.   The Procrastinatrix strikes again.  <---And what's up with this mess?  I just gave myself two nicknames in one paragraph.  Isn't there some kind of law against that?  Nicknaming yourself?  Ooo, so naughty. 

Onward and upward!

We have a new Command Center, complete with Captain's chair, here at the old casa de Vaughn-O. 
Jerry set everything up, because I break things.

This is after:

Damn!  I was a thirsty girl that day!

This is Jim Carrey having a meltdown on Twitter.  He freaks out and rants about #BOING everyday for a few hours.  Hey, guy!  I dig Apple, too!  The iLife is where it's at!  I'm checking Facebook as I type this.  Just told my buddy Bobby that I'd pay to see a troll shit on Uwe Boll.  It's true.  I would. 

Ugh.  I gotta go.  I have to attempt to be perky in 3ish hours.  Boys' play practice today.  Can you believe people let me shape their children's minds?  Scary, I know, but they love me.  The tykes really seem to enjoy weirdo Ms. Melissa.  Another blog by week's end!  I swear it!

Goals are good.

Impending Tummy Shame

 Sooo...

Jerry and I got in touch with our inner chubblet tonight. 

That's right.  We tackled the Double Down.  I know what you are thinking.

So was I.  The little bit of dying muscle called out to me, "Nooooooo!" as I took the first bite.  Then I told that pussy bitch to shut it and stuffed that mess in my face!  Slightly spicy fried chicken with great glops of cheese, smokey sauce, and of course, bacon.   Swine is always mighty fine in my book.  It was delicious and disgusting.  I feel pleased and a bit whorish.  If the DD had a fried egg, it would be like eating a barnyard.  Mmm...

I think I just heard a tiny, muffled scream from my digestive system.

Poopbox Paradise

Just got back from a shindig with the fam. Probably the last in Powhatan. Good times. Also good: World's Best Cat Litter.  

 Seriously, my kitty loving friends, this litter is killer! It's $8.50 for a 7 lb. bag at the K-Rog, and totally worth it. The clumping action is tits. You have to behold the glory in your own cat's poopbox to believe it. Is it weird that I'm having a geekgasm over my cats' toileting aids? 

World's Best Cat Litter 

The name says it all.  These little butt sniffers approve this message.

Faces of the Fan

This post is about faces.  I'll start with mine.

Bully!  So I went on a walk with my buddy Marc (pictured here with our pal Treebeard)...

...and I discovered quite a few mugs peepin' out at me.  Look!  It's Lil' Chubby Foo Foo!

Happy house with a beauty mark.

Happy house with a monocle.

He really doesn't want me to park here.

Tiny, grumpy door.

This jerk blew pollen right up in my face!

At least he didn't blow my nose off.  The same could not be said for this poor soul. 

This last one is my favorite.  Marc and I walked over it while yammering about which direction to take next and I just happened to take a second glance.  Super creepy and awesome.  You never know who may be watching you.

Things and Stuff

My current project is a Steampunk Bunny of the bounty hunter persuasion.  Before he got that sweet coat and paint job he was just a plain ol' white plaster bunny that you can find at craft stores in the spring.  Still miles to go, but it's a darn good start. 

The Mo approves. 

Lord Chubblington is less impressed.  To be continued...